It is usually tough to forgive, but being able to forgive a partner faster is a major key to a successful relationship. To forgive, you need to let go of negative feelings about a partner’s misdeed, view a partner in a positive light once again while trying not to seek revenge or hold a grudge. It is definitely okay to feel hurt, but forgiveness implies you are still willing to give away the negative thoughts and feelings that comes with the betrayal. You do not need to deny yourself the sense of freedom, especially in an abusive and/or a dangerous situation, you simply need to find the time to move on without bearing the pain of disappointment for so long and that’s also what forgiveness is about.
For women who still want to stick to their partners or friends and work it out, they need to find a way to deal constructively with the anger in a way that leaves room for renewed love and trust.
Inability to forgive someone creates a lot of tension, distance, long term feelings of anger and isolation, and it can even have a negative impact on your health. So then, how exactly do you forgive a partner faster when they have done something wrong? Here are some proven tips to go about it.
Try to talk about it. Forgiveness starts with communication. Make room to dialogue, the other person might have reasons for doing what they did and you can only find out when you open an opportunity for chats. This might be a little bit difficult at first, but it is a sure way to begin. We have to leave room for reasonable attempts at reconciliation to occur. Communication helps to ease the burdens of false imaginations and heavy sense of disappointment. Be sure to listen without being judgmental, no matter what and always remember, no one forgives when pain is left unresolved.
Reexamine your Expectations. Often times we tend to forget that we deal with people who are just humans and are prone to making mistakes just like we do! We are usually engrossed with some thoughts of disappointments like, “I didn’t expect her to act this way”. But she did because she is human with limitations just like everyone else out there. Surprisingly, most acts or words that hurt us are not done intentionally, so frequently a person may not even know that they have done something to hurt you. By cutting down your high expectations of others, you gain a different orientation about the fact that we are not infallible and you will always be willing to forgive them even before they apologize.
Let go of the Anger. There is no complete forgiveness when there is still anger welling up in the stomach. Anger begets hate and a lingering desire for retaliation or revenge. Anger is destructive and can cause an emotional drain on us even when we don’t realize it. When you let go of anger, you make a path to complete forgiveness.
Be positive and Learn to Trust again – Complete forgiveness means that we must learn to trust the individual that caused the hurt in the first place. Constantly putting off of someone who hurt you simply means you haven’t completely forgiven them and that means you can’t trust them. It is normal to attempt to build iron shields around yourself when you are hurt, but then it makes it impossible for complete forgiveness to take place.
In case, you haven’t yet found the right reasons to forgive, here they are: Forgive because:
- It takes less energy to love and forgive than it does to stay angry and hold a grudge.
- When you don’t forgive you end up bringing anger and bitterness into your other relationships
- Lack of forgiveness breeds inability to enjoy the present.
- Forgiveness showers you with grace and freedom of mind and choice.
I believe you can find something in these tips helpful in guiding you in your personal quest associated with forgiveness. Forgiveness is about you and your choice to let go of the experience of hurt and pain, not about another person’s perception of your situation or relationship. However, if you still find it hard to forgive immediately, do not force it, sometimes it takes time to come to that point of complete forgiveness, but it is always helpful to remember why you loved the person in the first place.